Things that aren't supposed to happen.

So let's go through things my bass has done to betray me:
1. Let's see... a week before my jury my first semester of sophomore year (maybe?), the eyelet in my bow stripped itself. Just on a whim. "You don't need bow tension to play," the eyelet decided. "I'll just relax for a bit."
2. During one concert, the G string just started buzzing. Apparently leaving the bass in the hall overnight wasn't enough to adjust it to the temperature, because out of nowhere half of the notes on the string started wailing away with this extra, unnecessary noise.
3. Let us never forget the performance of Michael Schelle's Samurai, where my bass, restrung with lower tension solo strings, vomited the bridge onto the stage, and then had some sort terrible spasm that left the sound post rolling along the bottom of the stomach.
4. The day of my junior recital, my professor decided I should keep the E string tuned to D, rather than adjusting the string up a whole step as the rest of the strings had been. I guess that's not something my bass did, but I hope that during my next recital, I don't have "Remember! Your E-string is STILL a D-String" written on my wrist.
5. Last night, as I was putting my bass into the car to move it to Pease auditorium, the right shoulder caved in a little, in a little mold of my right hand. If there's one thing I'm pretty sure about, it's that your bass should never make a squishy noise. EVER.

I think I should change my bass' name to Lady Macbeth; just as likely to stab you in the back at the most inopportune time as not.
Sigh; off to Grand Rapids to get a good fixing.